Well, lets recap the last two weeks or so...
I got dumped and rumor has I've made the shitlist for company lay offs. Atleast I gave myself a break this week and bought some beer. I'm feelin pretty good right now but I feel like calling the ex. She said she still wants to be "friends", whatever the fuck that means. We had some talks and cleared some stuff up, but the last conversation left me with some questions.
I wrote em down earlier but i deleted them... She still hasn't emailed me back, dunno if she plans too or not. I'm not sure if she is just trying to let me down easy, or letting me down easy makes her feel better about her self, or this is a lot harder for her than I'm giving her credit...
Either way, I want to go fly and see her but it's not going to happen. Everyday is pretty random for me, sometimes I strait up don't give a fuck and sometimes I start remembering times with her and it's fucking depressing; standard shit in my situation I guess. Honestly, I'm just scared that I'm going to be alone again for a very long time...
A friend suggested I think of stuff I didn't like and try looking for that in the next girl, but nothing really bothered me that much... I just accepted what I had cause I was happy enough. *sigh*
I'd probably puss out and go if she suddenly changed her mind (bullshit wishful thinking again) but that's really not gonna happen... kinda like that phone call...
Suck!
I dunno, but for whatever reason I actually got the motivation to rewrite my resume. It kinda freaked me out since I'm not writing a "fresh out of school" resume but a real resume. Then again, looking at my experience, I look like a fucking bad ass with the stuff I've done. I hope it doesn't come to that, but who fucking knows. Good thing I got money in the bank...
I'm actually moving in with a friend, gonna save a lot of cash. I'm a little afraid as I've been living by myself for the last two years and have a lot of apartment to myself. I was looking at the room and it's fucking tiny; I'm barely gonna have space for my bed less alone privacy. Then again, I don't meet a whole lot of women (actually I don't meet any "potential" women) it's probably not much of a concern.
There's one chick, and I just saw her the other day and scheduled a "date" but I'm a little turned off. She just lost her job, which doesn't really bother me, but I smelled the weed when I walked in the door. Oh well, I'm guilty myself being drunk right now but that type of shit is something I don't want to deal with... Well, unless I get to hit it [/man]
1 comment:
A friend suggested I think of stuff I didn't like and try looking for that in the next girl, but nothing really bothered me that much... I just accepted what I had cause I was happy enough. *sigh*
More realistically and importantly is to look at what turned out to be warning signs (hindsight is 20/20) and actively avoid becoming romantically involved with people who have those signs. There's no simple science to relationships, and no advice that anyone can give you will actually work unless its obvious or luck. Everyone that you will ever date will end up turning out be any combination of devastating, frustrating, and a learning experience until you find "the one".
It's kind of like how when you lose something people say "it's always in the last place you look" and you think "no shit, because when you find it you stop looking". Such are relationships. And every other place you look ends up being a frustration because it's not there and you wasted the time and energy when you could be looking in other places. Sometimes, you check the same place twice even when you know it's not there.
This analogy is flowing way too easily and makes me think that I should write a misleading self-help book.
Anyways, I know rather acutely what you're talking about, as do a lot of people, but nothing anyone can say/do will help the situation. The only thing that helps stuff like this is a lot of time to do deep thinking.
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