RANT screen TURN ON!!!

Well, it's 3 in the morning and I can't sleep. I've been sick as a dog for the last 3 days, first a light cough, turning into a fever, and then turning into a very nasty cough + worst headache of my life AND THEN going away a few hours before this. Thanks to my girlie who's been taking care of me after work everyday... it would have been seriously rough trying to tough this out alone. I haven't been this sick in I don't know how long. Sad part is, I don't know if I'll ever be able to repay her before she moves back home. Then again, this isn't something you can "repay" ; I guess the thought that I'd do the same is good enough.

Anyway, I ordered her the real Christmas present I wanted to get her in the first place... Not specifically because of the recent stuff, but just in general. Some of you may laugh but I ordered her a new rice cooker (Zojirushi Micom bitches); I just don't want her to see the pricetag. See, she's got this old one... her mom gave it to her and it's well over 20 years old. It's one of those ghetto ones, the small one with the clear lid (example). I dunno if they had nonstick liners back then but it sure as hell ain't nonstick anymore. That makes me sick every time I see it when I come over.



I didn't buy it before cause it was a lot of money and I didn't want her to feel obligated to spend the same amount of money on a gift for me. Funny I say that, cause I wanted to buy it in the first place and then didn't buy anything period. We never discussed presents but then I find out she mail ordered me something (cheater has my address!) but it actually never arrived; UPS f'ed up the package dropoff and mailed it back to Amazon.



Anyway, I saw her ghetto cooker again and I had enough! It's not like I want her to throw it away, I understand the sentimental value, but I just don't want her to eat out of it anymore! Besides, her new one will have a brown rice mode instead of "oh add this much extra water and that sorta works..." cause I'm fuggin baller and 'ol girl ain't gotta roll like that no more.

Hell I'm almost jealous cause I also want the same model; I got a bigger one that is also equally fancy but it takes up too much space and it's in japanese and I can't read it. I can only make it cook "normal" and turn on/off the warm. You can program these things to cook while you're at work so the rice is done when you get home; how pimp is that! That's especially badass with the new GABA sprouted brown rice feature (takes 4 hours of precooking to sprout the rice) cause all you gotta do is put in the water and the rice in the morning... =D I did a little research during my Christmas rice cooker hunt.

But anyway, i was checkin my emails and googled up some BJJ (brasilian jiu jitsu) shit. Man, that stuff frustrates me so much... somedays I look at it and want to do it all out. It really makes me dissatisfied with my level of physical fitness. It's not the looks so much but how I've noticed I seem to get hurt pretty easily these days, and makes me concerned about my long term health. I feel like if I could loose the weight then I'd take care of all 3 of these things and I'd be a much happier person.

As much as vanity is associated with this, I do believe that it would benefit me mentally. Sadly, this isn't the first time I've felt this way and none of the times has ever been enough to motivate me to actually bust ass and get into shape. Maybe I need to see the doctor and get a real scare. Oh wait... I'm not overweight, I don't smoke cigarettes, or eat fast food on a regular basis. How bad can I be? *knock on wood* I think just having these few basics actually qualifies me for better (or cheaper?) health care at work!

But back to that feeling, sometimes it makes me wonder if I'm throwing my life away at work... 8 hours a day in a brick box, typing away at a computer monitor. Are we supposed to be meant for more than this? It's pretty easy to take this for granted versus the extreme opposite end of the spectrum but I'd like to find a more happy medium than that. I know for damn sure though, when it comes permanent position time I want a job with outside time.

I'm pretty confident that I can come back to the current position full time, which is job security I guess (nothing in this industry is secure, lol). I can also see myself doing the exact same shit that I am right now, the stuff I'm getting increasingly bored with everyday, and I will KEEP doing that shit until my boss retires (what? another 15 years?) or gets a promotion (I sincerely doubt it, no knocks against him but it seems to be one of those "you're good at your job and that means your never leaving" type positions).

I'm too young for that shit man... I didn't come out here to fucking give up on the dream after 3 years! I don't have any kids (that I know of) and I don't have a house payment, fuck playing it safe! I've been talking to people around the business, trying to find a new place to work and I think I should go into something competition related. I keep track of that shit so hard just out of personal interest, something I've been chastised at work for (not really work related), then maybe I should get paid for it.

Other random topic? I need a new computer. My box is showing it's age with regards to photo editing. I want a dual core + some memory. I've been looking at some custom build stuff, which I haven't done in a few years, but I don't care so much because I don't play video games anymore. But custom is usually cheaper. Just gotta keep watching Slickdeals.

Random Movie? I'm trying to get caught up on Harry Potter. I've watched 3 of the movies so far, have the fourth one sitting on the table, and will probably rent the 5th one. We got 4 of them from the library but the 5th one is too new and has too many holds on it to get anytime soon.